Moonlight Sonata
by Artisticnincompoop
Summary: Fili is a hopeless romantic, who wont admit to Kili his feelings. And Thorin is a little instigator. (Incest, smut, a little tiny bit of gore I guess).


**Moonlight Sonata **

**Where Fili is a blind hopeless Romantic and Kili is an unknowing tease. There is actually plot some where in this 9,000 something word fic I promise! Enjoy! **

***None of these characters belong to me***

* * *

The day had been long, tiring, and all around irritating, but then there was Kili. Sitting not far off from himself emitting pure happiness, as always. No matter the troubles they faced trust Kili to still have that wondrous smile plastered across his features. Kili caught his stare monetarily pausing the in depth and wildly out of proportioned tale from their childhood to give Fili a nod affirming he was alright. Fili nodded back quickly, his eyes darting hastily away as his brother continued his ramblings to Ori.

He didn't know how it happened, it wasn't like any of the fairy tales told to them as children. Or similar to that of any of the beautiful poetry he secretly indulged in. But somewhere along the line of his still rather short life Fili had managed to fall in love with his brother. Therefore condemning himself to a life of pure and utter misery.

Sure he could place when he realized his love for his brother was stronger than what is common place, but it wasn't a surprise, or a smack to his face. It had been a pleasant summer day of training with Thorin, half way through the lesson Kili had come running into the field waving his arms over his head and yelling Fili's name repeatedly. In confusion he had glanced towards Thorin, who looked just as puzzled, if not more, and in doing so being completely unprepared for the tackle from his brother. Fili laughed when he spun them on the ground pinning Kili and all of his excitement down to the green grass beneath them. Still, Kili smiled his best smile protruding his chin out for inspection from Fili who understood at once what all of the commotion had been for. There on Kili's chin was a very small patch of scruff.

Kili at that point continued to ramble on, asking about different braiding styles, beads, and what not but Fili was lost to the world. He stared down still holding Kili by his wrist beneath him, transfixed to his brother's eyes. He felt his blood rushing and his stomach knotting, his heart pounding in his ears as his cheeks flushed slightly. Kili decided at that moment to push him off, at first Fili feared Kili had known right away what he had been thinking, but when Kili saw his worried faced and asked if he had hurt him with the shove Fili only shook his head violently from side to side. Kili pranced away exclaiming to the world that he was at last a real dwarf while Fili sat there forgetting his uncle's presence watching Kili's figure shrink with distance.

Of course it would be Kili. It was always Kili. Kili who could cheer him up from anything, who pushed him to be more daring, or foolish. Kili who was beautiful and brave, who had just the right amount of silliness to make anyone happy in his presence. With that one moment everything finally shifted together, it made so much sense that it was impossible to be shocked or at the very least confused. The only thing he felt was fear, heart wrenching, bone crushing fear.

Thorin didn't miss the realization, patting Fili consolingly on the back as he walked away, declaring they had done enough for the day. He knew, and understood, Mahal everyone probably had guessed excluding he and Kili themselves up until this point. But he was still his brother, even if his heart would only belong to Kili it did not mean Kili would feel the same. He would keep this to himself, tucked into the deepest caverns of his heart, he couldn't lose Kili over these feelings. This bond that would tortuously devour him until the day he died.

"You're doing it again."

"Hmm?" Fili looked up to see his uncle sitting down in a slightly undersized arm chair across from his. Thorin simply leaned back into the cushions stare withholding.

"Thinking too much, you'll make yourself insane." Fili sighed chancing a glance over to Kili who it seemed still had some story in him as he rambled on to Ori and their new acquaintance Mr. Baggins.

"No worries Uncle, he is doing that for me." Thorin let out a gentle chuckle which caused Kili to look over in curiosity.

"Have you ever considered for a moment your feelings are returned?" The laughter in his voice died down slightly looking over his nephew with concern. "It would do no harm to inquire, I can't imagine the pain you must feel every day, surely an answer would put some ease into you, no matter the outcome." Fili stiffened his shoulders at the suggestion making sure Kili was no longer listening before responding.

"And run the risk of being cast away from him forever? No Uncle, I would not ask, nor do I have any intentions to ever ask. I will endure any and every kind of pain of not having him in the ways I want and only as a brother, rather than nothing at all." Thorin did not seem satisfied with his answer grunting and looking away towards the rest of the members in their new company.

"When we reclaim Erebor, and you are one day crowned King, he would not be able to refuse you…" Fili stood swiftly from his chair catching a few interested glances from around the room. Feeling the sudden attention on him he adjusted his belt casually and walked closer to where his uncle was sat. Leaning down and lowering his voice he spoke.

"I would never force him to be with me and you know this. I suggest you focus on more prudent matters, such as finding a replacement burglar. Seeing how this one has refused you." Thorin looked over to Bilbo frowning, knowing that Fili was right.

"I am sorry, I will mind my own business." Thorin grasped his nephews' hand briefly before Fili let go and walked towards the front of the hobbit hole. He opened the wide round door swiftly, relishing in the breeze that rolled over him. Taking a deep breath he walked out into the night air and sat on the small bench. As if the gesture would have any success at reliving some of his building stress levels he lazily rubbed the palms of his hands over his face groaning to himself. He stopped his fidgeting when he could hear Kili's voice growing closer to him. He looked up to the open door , Kili stepped out leaning against the round frame crossing his arms in front of him while letting out a playful sigh.

"Really brother? Sulking in the dark again?" Kili laughed staying at his spot by the door.

"Sulking? You accuse me of being so boring? I'm simply trying to remember a poem I had read before we left." He patted the empty seat on the bench next to him while Kili shot him a sly grin.

"Both still make you boring." Kili jabbed a finger into his side as he sat down receiving a well deserved swat to the hand from Fili. Kili continued to look at him for a moment waiting for a sarcastic remark but once Kili had slung his arm over his shoulder any wit that had once belonged to Fili vanished. Leaving him staring quite awkwardly at Kili's amused grin.

Fili looked away from Kili's gaze only just realizing he had been staring with his heart pounding rapidly against his chest. He was glad the sun had set for the night or Kili would have been sure to see the flush of his skin. They sat in a comfortable silence a little while longer, but Kili being Kili had to speak up eventually.

"How exactly do I make you insane?" Kili tilted his head slightly watching as Fili very nearly choked on his own spit.

"I-I uh what do you mean?" Only making matters worse Kili squeezed his hold around Fili's shoulders tighter as he chuckled.

"Earlier, with Thorin I heard you say I make you insane, my eavesdropping skills are excellent but not so great as to hear you over Ori so I didn't hear the rest." Kili's gaze hardened as he saw Fili visibly relaxing.

"Ha yes, well I was telling Thorin all of your stories were simply driving me insane…that's all brother." Fili grinned nervously looking away when Kili seemed unconvinced. A few more crawling moments of deafening silence had Fili building a sweat in the chill night air still under Kili's hard gaze. Thankfully Kili disconnected his stare at last, releasing a grunt of a laugh.

"Yeah right, you love my stories." Fili only rolled his eyes as Kili shifted on the bench removing his arm from around Fili.

"I do, but not so much after I have heard them twenty times." Playfully Fili grabbed a chunk of Kili's hair tugging it lightly. It was simple, something they had started years ago when Kili would reach for Fili's braids. Somehow it had changed to Fili tugging Kili's hair and neither of them seemed to mind, but tonight there was something in Kili's eyes that had Fili second guessing the contact. Fili would pride himself on being fully capable of reading his brother, but this expression had him stumped. If he didn't know him better Fili would've guessed Kili had actually been offended by the remark.

"Kili are-"

"I think I'm going to get some sleep." Kili shot off the bench removing Fili's hand from his hair. "You know Uncle will have us up early in the morning…well goodnight." And just like that Kili darted back into the small house. Fili took in another long, deep breath leaning back against the bench. This was going to be a long journey.

* * *

Just as expected trouble soon found them. In the form of rain, lots and lots of rain. Fili could feel his pony struggling with its footing in the deep mud as they trudged forward. The whole company was turned sour over the ordeal, especially since Gandalf made it clear he would be doing nothing about the down pour.

"I'm going to catch a cold." Kili mumbled from his pony sending an irritated glance to Fili.

"Just hold strong brother. The rain will have to stop at some point." Kili did look remarkably pathetic; slouched over, hair in dismay across his face as he clung onto his riding cloak. Kili only groaned in response while looking ahead. Fili looked to where Kili was staring at in horror, and he too made a grunt of protest. Not far ahead was the very unwelcome sight of a narrow, but rapidly rushing river.

"Stay close to one another and move quickly. We do not have time to wait for the waters to die down." Thorin's command sounded from the front of their line. Every one found a partner to cross with excluding the wizard who was quite big enough to cross without the fear of being swept away. They were the last two who would cross, having seen the majority of their company, the small hobbit included, with no troubles crossing made them careless. Or rather, Kili over confident. As soon as Bofur and Bombur had reached the other side Kili went walking into the river with his pony before Fili could catch up to him.

Realizing he had left his brother on shore Kili stopped his pony halfway through to look behind. With one large surge, the water had him. Fili watched on in terror, rushing forwards into the water after Kili losing his own sense of safety.

"FILI NO!" Thorin's shout was drowned out by another wave that had Fili rolling beneath the water with his brother. There was nothing he could do, he had never been a skilled swimmer and the water was too harsh. Feeling his ankle twist in the stirrup he kicked his leg free attempting to reach the surface and take in a breath of air. The pony and saddle detached themselves from him rushing faster down the river ahead. Thrashing out his arms trying to grab onto anything he collided into something solid. Kili. In an instant he was pulled out of the water and laid on his back gasping as he coughed out the water in his lungs. Kili lay beside him propped up on his forearms doing some coughing of his own as Thorin stepped away from them.

"F-fili?" Kili inched closer to Fili scooping him into a crushing hug, ignoring the coughs that Fili was still attempting to calm.

"Fools, be more careful or next time I might not be able to save you!" Thorin yelled, watching as Dwalin walked towards them, clutching the reins of one very wet, miserable pony. Fili hugged Kili in return once he gained all of his sense back cradling the younger in his hold as he looked up to Thorin.

"Sorry, Uncle." Thorin turned addressing Dwalin while Kili continued to cling onto Fili's soaked tunic.

"I could only reach the one." Dwalin stated as he handed the reins over to Thorin's hand.

"Very well, you two will have to share until we make camp for tonight. We will be able to unload some of the provisions off the only remaining rider less pony we have then." Fili continued to scan over Kili making sure he was alright while the rest of the company got back onto their ponies.

"Fili- really I'm fine lets go. You'll sit in front." Kili said standing and holding out a hand to help Fili up.

"What? No way, I always rode back saddle when we would share!" Fili refused to take his brother's hand until he got further explanation. Sure they hadn't actually shared a pony for years, many, many years, but Fili had always been back saddle.

"Ah brother, but I am the tallest now." Kili replied smiling through the rain down at Fili who still sat on the muddy grass his mouth dropping at the comment.

"I b-but that's not fair!" Kili laughed grabbing his brother's unwilling arm and tugging him off the ground.

"AHH-!" As soon as Fili stood he was crashing forwards into Kili, his ankle giving out under him. Luckily Kili moved quickly and held him steady in his arms.

"Fili! What's wrong?" The pain being too much Fili gave up and rested his weight against Kili as he looked down to his foot.

"What is wrong with Fili?" Thorin asked moving his pony closer to where they were struggling to stay up.

"I twisted my ankle in the river. I do not think it is broken." Straightening himself with the help from Kili he managed to balance himself on one foot.

"Don't put any more strain on it, Kili help him up, Oin will properly bandage it later." Kili nodded as Thorin turned moving to the head of the company once more. Kili left his side and hurriedly leaving Fili to grab onto the saddle while Kili adjusted the straps. Fili only shot him a threatening look while Kili smiled on.

"Are you ready?" Kili walked up to him and suddenly Fili was very nervous. Kili had that look in his eyes again that he couldn't quite place. Not to mention he was currently completely invading his personal space. Not that Fili minded but if Kili didn't cut it out he'd have a hard time forming coherent sentences.

"Ready for –" Kili latched his hands onto Fili and hoisted him up without another word, quite literally throwing Fili off as he scrambled to straighten himself onto the saddle. "Kili!" Kili only bent forwards in laughter at Fili's shocked face. Fili huffed and looked away trying his hardest not to cave and laugh along. One shout from Gandalf had Kili halting his mischief as he swiftly jumped up behind Fili and had them moving to catch up with the rest of the company.

Instantly Fili froze, his hands already starting to shake. He didn't think this through very well. Or in other terms Thorin had thought this through very well indeed. Of course when they had been younger there was much more space for the two of them on top of the pony, but now, Kili was pressed closely behind him in all the right ways. He didn't know why, possibly because he was simply still too shocked to care about his pride but he let Kili have the reins as he attempted to swallow back a moan. Kili seemed to sense his sudden distress releasing one of his hands from the reins and placing it onto the thy of Fili's injured leg.

"Don't worry Fili, Uncle won't make us go much further." Kili's hot breath was sending chills down his skin, Fili only being able to internally curse himself for all eternity. "Then we will get your leg wrapped up." He finished by patting his thy once more then noticed the exposed chilled skin on his arm and laughed. "I'm cold as well…here." With this Kili shifted impossibly closer wrapping both arms snugly around Fili's waist and resting his chin in the crook of Fili's neck. "Better?" The direct whisper into his ear left him shuddering and when Kili squeezed him tighter he released the best response he could muster.

"Mmhm." It came out as more of a moan but to Fili's advantage Kili didn't seem to notice. Kili was right thankfully, they did not travel for long before they were stopping for the night. Fili had managed to hold himself back and stay silent even with Kili only making things harder. But the rain had stopped and the company was preparing camp while Kili helped Fili slowly down from their pony.

When they had managed to stumble close to where the others were already building a fire Kili set him down on the ground and moved to start unpacking their things. Oin came to him while the others were working, first removing his boot. Fili was surprised at how bad the sprain looked, either he was growing stronger or Kili proved to be a great distraction.

The area was bruised severely and swelling quite a bit but Oin did not seem terribly worried. He rolled his pant leg as high as it was to go, checking the rest of his leg with practiced fingers. Feeling slightly embarrassed by the exposure Fili looked away, he had never truly needed a doctor or care like this before. When he turned he could see Kili standing back by their pony unlacing some bags while he watched Oin work on Fili. Again feeling exposed Fili decided the ground would be the best place to stare for the time being.

Oin started to wrap the ankle after his inspection when Kili returned laying out their bedrolls for them. Fili looked up to thank him but Kili looked like he was in the middle of a serious debate inside his own head while he stared at the now roaring fire before them. Without further warning Kili began to take off his upper garments.

"K-kili?" Fili stuttered out weakly, this he could handle unlike physical contact, growing up alongside Kili meant occasionally they had seen the other bare. However this was something entirely different. It wasn't just them, or their mother, or even Thorin, it was Kili, himself, and _everyone _else. Oin smiled up at Fili encouragingly from where he sat, just finishing the wrappings.

"Your brother has the right idea Fili, you both should get out of those wet clothes before you get sick." Oin added in while Fili continued to stare up at Kili in shock.

"You can leave on your pants Fili, just let me hang the rest with mine for the night so we might not freeze." Kili said holding out his hand waiting for Fili to strip out of his cloak and shirt. Kili may have portrayed himself as a very confident young dwarf but Fili knew him better. Kili would only be doing this because he was truly cold, he would've otherwise never displayed his body so openly in front of the others. Fili grunted before finally removing his top layers and handing them over to his half dressed brother.

Oin waited until he was settled from removing his clothing to instruct him to leave his leg elevated for at least two hours each day until it was fully healed, starting now. Which left him in an awkward position. Giving up on the strain in his muscles from the days events he laid back on the ground while the rest of the company sat mildly happy around the fire seemingly ignoring his laid back sate, except Kili. Who followed him down to the ground laying beside him.

"I never want to see another river in my life." Fili groaned, when Kili continued to lay in silence. Still Kili went without answer. Checking to see if Kili had somehow managed to fall asleep Fili turned his head surprised to see Kili staring at him. "What is it?"

"I miss this." Kili said looking away, back up into the darkening night sky. "I miss doing nothing with you, like when we were children. Just staring at the stars, now all we ever do is train or study …we never do nothing anymore." Anyone else would have thought Kili was being odd but Fili knew exactly what he had meant. Back to the days before life caught up with them and they would lay out in a dark meadow sometimes talking, sometimes Fili would read new poems to Kili, and sometimes they would say nothing at all. Fili felt his heart clenching at the memory, straining to remember why those nights had ever stopped happening.

"I miss it too." Kili glanced to him from the corner of his eye smiling before readjusting himself; placing his head atop Fili's bare chest and stretching out his legs.

"Tell me a story, or a poem like you used to?" Kili asked looking up at Fili who even if he tried couldn't hide the flush on his cheeks. If needed he would blame it on the sprain somehow. As was requested he spoke to Kili, absently playing with his hair while he went on, digging out old stories from the back of his mind he thought he had long forgotten. Such as everything else the moment had to end eventually. Fili's world which had shrunk down to only two of them had much quicker then he wanted opened back up to the rest of the world when Bombur brought them their bowls for dinner.

Fili had to admit, it wasn't completely unwelcome since he was still feeling chilled to the bone from earlier. Kili too had been shaking until they began to eat their soup. By the time dinner was finished the company had broken into a song most members were either singing or playing along on their instruments. But tonight Fili could not will himself to join, to entranced by the music himself. Kili of course had joined in the second the others suggested it. They were playing a song he had heard many times, growing up amongst dwarves meant nights filled with music.

Tonight however it was different, on a journey of such importance, the hopes of so many resting on all their shoulders, and the only thing that matter in that moment was Kili. He happily smiled along when there were no parts for him to play, the moonlight shining off his auburn hair, the fire gleaming in his eyes. Fili had long since lost his heart to his brother but that one song made him feel as though he had lost it all over again. It made him believe maybe there was some truth to fairy tales and love poems about undying love and the absolute surrender to those you fell for.

After some time the company grew tired and decided it was time for rest. Kili had wanted just one more song but the others refused. Fili simply shook his head when he would not support Kili's short lived campaign.

"You're just bitter because I play better." Kili said stuffing away his instrument and crawling back onto his bedroll beside Fili's.

"Mmm, if that makes you sleep better dear brother." Fili laughed watching Kili's jaw drop in mock horror. Kili went to jab at Fili but when his finger's touched the displayed skin he recoiled.

"You're still freezing!" Kili harshly whispered, his hand going back to the spot he had just felt on Fili's side.

"I'll warm up, don't worry." Fili said delicately removing Kili's finger's from his side. He had plenty enough heart attacks for one day. Kili pouted pulling up both their blankets assisting Fili due to his wounded leg.

"Trust me, it'll help." Caught off guard after Kili had settled back down beside him Fili gasped when he was pulled into Kili's warm chest. He had to admit the warmth was very welcoming, but that was also exactly the problem.

"Kili, I really-"

"Shh." Kili snaked one arm around the back of Fili's neck and the other tightly around his side holding his head under his chin. He hummed lightly when Fili didn't respond thinking he had won the flight. When Fili shifted away slightly he dragged him back forcefully, completely unexpected was the result.

Kili's overly warm hands digging into his cool skin forcefully pulling him into his body was too much. He could only hide so much and Kili was making it impossible. A muffled moan slipped from his slightly parted lips as their hips collided and in that moment he felt Kili still. He was hard, and there was nothing, absolutely nothing he could do about it now. Kili's scent was over whelming his senses, his warmth heating his own body, it was too much and even if he tried he couldn't force his excitement away. Looking up from the spot of Kili's chest he had been staring at he slowly lifted his eyes. Noticing the quickened heart beat on Kili's neck, but then when he looked into Kili's eyes all he saw was shock. This time when he pushed away Kili let him go.

"Sorry…I shit Kili I-"

"Goodnight Fili." Kili's voice was quiet, but it was steady as his aim with an arrow. He turned sharply to face the opposite direction and Fili swore in that moment nobody had told the truth about love. Because if this was rejection, if this was heart break, he was sure to die of it. It was as if a giant gaping hole opened in the pit of his stomach watching Kili turn from him. Slowly, feeling as if he wasn't in his own skin he too turned the other way.

He didn't know for sure how long it had been but still he could not sleep. The face Kili had made playing over and over again in his head, alongside the unbearable cold. His whole body was shaking with it, the fire having burnt out long ago, he groaned pulling his blanket further over his head when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He snapped his head around resulting in a loud cracking sound that left him slightly sore. Kili sat propped on his elbow his face in a twisted half smile.

"I can hear your teeth clattering." Kili whispered watching as Fili's mouth moved for a few more moments while he tried to find the right words.

"I didn't- you know it wasn't your fault, I mean…You weren't the uh- cause. Shit Kili I'm sorry." Kili responded with a small laugh pushing Fili back down to his bed roll, thankfully facing away from Kili.

"Of course, I know. Get some rest, brother." Softly Kili laid his arm over Fili's side. The embrace felt drastically more awkward then the easy way they had fit together before, but it was better than nothing. While he lay waiting for Fili to fall asleep Kili remembered an old melody he would sing during the nights in their meadow and quietly he began to hum it then. Under the warm hold of his brother Fili finally managed to sleep, Kili's song carrying on long after.

Morning soon came and with it brought no comfort for Fili. Kili acted as if nothing had happened as any good person would. Still, Fili couldn't help but feel a tug at his heart telling him something was wrong, that very soon things were going to change, that Kili would figure him out.

* * *

As the sun must rise their journey was fated to grow only more dangerous. With each passing hour danger crept closer, forcing them to run, or fight. But now as they watched the group of Eagles fly away the sun was setting. They were tired and worn, too much fighting and running for one day and by the time they were down, as Kili put it; _that stupid rock_, Fili was exhausted and ready for sleep. Unfortunately for himself, Kili seemed to have other plans.

"Fili?" Slowly Fili peaked open his eyes, they had made camp about an hour ago. Since there were no supplies, and nearly everyone was too tired they had decided to just get an early rest. "Fiiillliiii-"

"What?" Fili smacked Kili's hand away from his side, eyes now fully open to see Kili crouching next to him. He had a pouch of some type of liquid in his right hand and was waving it very sheepishly in front of his face. "Ugh Kili what is that?" Kili smiled uncorking the top and bringing it up to Fili's noise. "Wine? Where did you find this?" Fili grabbed at the pouch his movements to slow against his fully awake brother.

"I snagged it off one of those goblins…come on lets go have some." Kili whispered sneaking off into the bushes before Fili could argue. Scrambling to chase after Kili he threw his blankets off and stumbled into the bushes after him.

"Kili?" Knowing they were still close to camp he didn't want to yell, his call only coming out as a whisper. He didn't have the patience for this right now, he was tired, sore, and in no mood to look for his wild mischievous brother in the woods. "Oof-!" Kili tackled him from behind roaring with laughter as they began to tumble down a slight hill. They stopped rolling after they collided with a tree. Kili rolled himself away from Fili still laughing, while Fili tried to remove all of the twigs that had accumulated in his hair. "You really shouldn't drink that Kili, those foul creatures might have poisoned it or something." Fili warned watching as Kili's breathing came back to normal. Kili rolled his eyes removing the cork once more.

"The goblin didn't know I was going to steal it, so why would he poison it?" Before Fili could move any closer he lifted the pouch to his mouth and took a large gulp.

"KILI!" Fili ran forwards snatching the drink from his brother's hands. Immediately he ran his palm against Kili's forehead, pulling back when Kili only smiled down at him.

"I'm fine see?" Kili took Fili's hand that was holding the wine pouch and urged him to drink. "Go on try some, for a Goblin's wine it taste pretty good." Hesitantly Fili took a small swig nodding his approval at the taste.

"That is nice."

Not one hour later they had succeed at draining the pouch completely of the wine. Fili more so than Kili. At first Fili thought it odd, Kili had always been the heavier drinker but every time he offered to hand Kili the pouch he was given some new excuse. _I woke you, you've been so stressed, that wasn't enough take more_.

"I believe I have managed to make you completely drunk for the first time ever." Kili laughed checking the pouch for even a drop more of the wine as he shook it above his cupped hand.

"Why would my sweet b-brother do such…a thing." Fili managed to slur out.

"Because you are more fun to watch." Kili said ruffling a hand through Fili's hair before he stood to pace about. Fili groaned his head falling into his palms as he laid back on the dark forest floor.

"I am never drinking with you again." Fili laughed peeking between his fingers to see Kili smiling at his distress. "How is this so-so…amusing to you?" Kili knocked his head back with a chuckle that was sure to reach the others, if they weren't already noticed to be missing they surely were now. Both of them however were slightly too tipsy to notice, or care. "You're evil." Fili closed his eyes Kili's laugh still ringing in his ears.

"Yeah evil, but you love me." Kili smiled sitting back down, his back against a tree. Fili sat up suddenly, examining Kili as he played with a strap to something at his side. Fili released a trembling breath understanding Kili had only meant love in a brotherly form, he was still safe. Until Kili looked up from his strap, his dark brown eyes piercing right through him. Mahal Kili would never stop being so beautiful, of that Fili was sure. Maybe Thorin had been right, there was no way he could hide his true feelings forever, perhaps he should try and tell Kili the truth. "Why do you read so many of these things?" Fili followed his brother's gaze down into his hands, there sat one of Fili's poetry books. It had been the only one he brought with him, in the off chance he had gotten bored he thought it wise to bring a distraction. How Kili had gotten his hands on it was beyond him. "All this word nonsense about lasses, and love. I don't know how you could bare to read any of it." Kili looked up from the book to see Fili staring back at him angrily.

"And what do you, little brother know of love?" Fili stood snatching the small book from Kili's hands.

"Why should I know any less than you?" Kili spat back standing now, his height giving him an unfair advantage in their fight.

"_You have no idea_." Fili placed the book safely in one of his pockets, away from Kili's prying fingers.

"Oh? And who is it my dear brother has fallen for? Is she who you were thinking of the night I warmed you?" Kili mocked following closely behind as Fili began to step away.

"Leave me alone Kili." Fili decided Thorin was horribly wrong, it had only been the alcohol giving him this sudden confidence. But then Kili's hand was snatching him by his wrist pulling him back. He was doing it again giving Fili that look that made him feel exceptionally uncomfortable. The unreadable one that he would have to try his hardest in figuring out. "Kili I swear if you don-"

"Are you happy with them?" Fili paused, his wrist still trapped by Kili's hand. That was unexpected, but he didn't have to consider his answer for even a second.

"Yes…yeah, really happy." Kili noticed him sway slightly so he pushed them both back to the ground to sit comfortably. Kili nodded as if he wanted him to go on but Fili was too nervous to give himself away, his words coming out shakily. "It's difficult to explain…I am happy I found him, because I love him, but he does not share my feelings." Nervously Fili looked down to his hands on his lap picking at his fingers while spoke.

"He?" Fili's hand shot up to cover his mouth, eyes bulging in realization but instead of covering his mouth he managed to smack himself straight in the face. Kili laughed sitting up on his knees and dragging Fili's hands away from his face. "You don't have to be embarrassed." He smiled warmly and Fili could feel the comfort in his words.

"It does not matter in any case, I will never be with him." Fili returned the smile sadly only just realizing how close Kili was to his own face.

"Who ever he is, he is a fool." If he didn't know better Fili would've thought Kili was about to kiss him, the way his head slanted, eyes latched onto his, his lips so enticingly close.

"No, he is anything but a fool." With a hand shaking far too much to hide he gently swiped a strand of hair from Kili's face. They were so close all he had to do was lean up slightly and finally he could taste Kili for his own. His body inched closer his eyes automatically glancing down to the slightly parted lips calling to him. He could hear the hitch in Kili's breath, he could taste the sweetness of it. He was going to do this he was going to kiss his brother. Until Thorin stumbled over them.

"OH! Oh!" Thorin fumbled on the ground brushing dried leafs from his furs eyes darting between the shocked brothers. "Oh! Sorry Fili I'll just- I didn't mean to interrupt. "

"Interrupt?"

"No it's fine! I was just going back to camp!" Fili darted from the ground leaving Kili behind as he climbed the rest of the ways back to the camp ignoring the calls from Thorin.

"So he told you finally, that's good it was getting on my nerves watching him pine over you all the time." Thorin chuckled standing up properly still removing bits of the forest from his clothing. "Just be sure this new relationship doesn't hinder our journey, I don't want you two getting distracted and putting the company in danger." Thorin gave Kili a nod patting him on the shoulder, completely missing his shocked face as he walked the way back up to the camp after Fili.

Fili sat atop his bed roll, legs up, his head resting on his knees refusing himself from laying down. The world was still spinning uncontrollably and the quick trek back to camp hadn't helped any. He was silently cursing Thorin and the alcohol from earlier when he received a punch to the shoulder.

"Ow!"

"I knew you'd tell him eventually." Thorin stated leaning down and dragging him into an awkward hug.

"Wh- what are you talking about?" Fili gulped staring at Thorin's confused face when he pulled back.

"You didn't tell him…" Fili sat eyes wide waiting for an explanation, fear churning in his gut. After a few more agonizing moments Thorin at last spoke up. "I may have told him of your feelings." Thorin was indeed a great warrior, he had won and fought in many battles, but his years of training did not give him the reflexes he required when Fili puked his insides out after his final words.

One trip down to a small stream for washing Thorin's coat and a hike back to camp later and Fili was ready to sleep. He dragged his bed roll away from the mess he had earlier made searching for a new place to sleep. There was one spot close to Thorin but content with still being alive come morning he continued his search. Kili lay supposedly asleep all the area around him clear with plenty of space for him. But he was sure there was to be serious explaining in the morning and if he could avoid it from happening as soon as he woke then he would. So at last he chose a spot closer to Bofur, who only turned away from him once he had finally settled down.

The world had stopped spinning, but his mind still whirled with turmoil.

* * *

Dawn came much sooner than Fili would've liked. But by the worried expression on Kili's face he was jostled awake.

"Fili wake up! Come on!" As soon as Fili was sitting upwards Kili was pushing him off the bed roll and folding it up. Fili looked around confused, everyone was moving quickly and packing already, they usually had early starts but this was pushing it. And they hadn't even had breakfast yet. Pushing his fears of rejection aside allowing his confusion to overtake for a moment he turned back to Kili who was still rapidly packing his things.

"Uhh…Kili what's going on?" Kili lifted him to his feet swiftly motioning for him to follow as he began walking back to his own bags.

"Dori was doing some scouting when he saw another warg not far behind. The warg didn't catch our sent yet but Thorin wants to move before it has the chance." Just as Kili had said the whole company was quickly departing from their camp. "You looked like you needed more sleep so I didn't wake you right away." Kili added glancing back momentarily.

"We are heading Beron's he has a home not far away, if we ask correctly I am sure he will allow us refuge." Gandalf announced from the front of the company as they all marched behind, quietly as possible. After a while Fili and the rest of the company began to relax when no further signs of a warg showed it's self. Memories from the night previous slowly started to plague him as he watched Kili walk ahead of him silently. Thorin had not yet spoken or addressed him weather that was due to guilt from giving away his secret or the other _incident _he was unsure, assuming it was most likely the latter.

The reality was, Kili knew. There was no questioning that, but there he was walking ahead of him as if nothing had happened. Before hand he might have been fine not risking Kili ever finding him out, but now that he was aware of his feelings he wanted a response. Even if it were a rejection it would give his mind some ease and when there were wargs roaming about he could use that ease greatly.

"Kili?"

"Hm?"

"About last night…I know Thorin-" Kili turned on him quite suddenly, halting their walk. Fili unprepared stumbled over himself being caught by Kili's hands. Fili huffed loudly already feeling embarrassed looking up to Kili hoping he would understand his question without forcing him to finish it. Kili had grown much taller in the recent years not so that he would tower over Fili but enough to notice now while he stared back down at him. For the first time in his life Fili felt like the younger, looking up at his brother awaiting a scolding for doing something he shouldn't of.

"We don't have time for this Fili." Kili said about to turn back around when a branch creaked loudly directly to their left. They both looked to see a warg jumping from the brush right at them. The beast was too close and too fast for Kili to reach his bow in time as it tackled him to the ground.

"KILI!" Fili dropped his bags to the ground watching as the beast crushed his brother with its large foot as he unsheathed both his swords. He twirled them with precision in his trained hands slashing at the creatures' hind legs forcing it's attention from Kili to himself.

Kili froze on the spot still trapped between the monster's legs as Fili narrowly avoided a vicious swing of its claw. Kili had fought alongside his brother plenty of times but from this view point where he could see Fili head on ready to strike he was struck with awe. He handled his weapon of choice with such accuracy and furiosity, it was mesmerizing. By the time the others had reached them Fili's swords were deeply implanted within the warg's skull.

Bofur had come to help him out from under the beasts body while Fili removed his weapons. The other's looked around for any other possible attackers and when it appeared they were in the clear they were once again on the move. Fili's eyes only briefly connecting with Kili's before he stepped away not daring to talk to Kili again for the rest of the day.

* * *

By the time they reached Beron's home Fili was feeling exhausted. The rest of the company seemed intent on not allowing that. Beron had graciously offered them a large meal and all of them were happy to accept. Kili had yet to try and talk to him about the previous night and Fili began to wonder if he simply did not wish to discuss it at all. Everyone was merrily sipping from large mugs of ale when Kili stood from his chair and walked down the table to Ori. Fili watched on with questioning eyes until Ori stood and they moved away from the dining room.

He could sense Thorin's gaze on him as he watched them go but the only thing he could feel was the sinking sensation in his chest. Maybe this was why Kili had told him not to be embarrassed for loving a man, if he was involved with Ori. Trying not to be obvious in his distress he quietly walked from the room finding his way to the entry.

Gandalf had warned them not to venture out of the house after dark but the sun still had yet to set. So without a second thought he stepped outside onto the large wooden porch and lit his pipe. They had survived thus far, with only minor setbacks in their journey, the air was gentle and warm, the sun leaving the nature around him in a beautiful golden glow, the world appeared before him as if everything was as it should be. Inside he felt empty, and began to question himself; if he could not win the heart of his brother, the one who meant everything to him how would he one day be expected to win the hearts of his uncle's kingdom. If he was even still to be alive at the end of this journey.

The minutes ticked slowly by and soon the moon had risen. He stood smothering his pipe and turned to go back into the large house only to have his way blocked by Kili. He looked possibly more shaken than himself and was holding a single piece of parchment in his hands. His cheeks were slightly flushed and having spent the last hour with Ori, Fili really didn't want to know why.

"Um…I need to tell you something." Kili stammered out lifting the paper slightly higher to his chest, almost cradling it. Fili looked him over once anticipating his confession to his and Ori's relationship. He did still love him so he might as well spare him this.

"It's fine Kili- really, you don't have to say anything. I understand completely." His voice came out slightly less friendly then he had intended which resulted in a frown from Kili. "What? Don't get mad at me now. It is none of my business anyway and I'd prefer it stay that way!" Fili snapped, did Kili really think telling him this would make things easier on him? He was about ready to unload his anger when he saw Kili's anger transform into sadness.

"Here!" Kili yelled shoving the parchment from his hands into Fili's chest. Fili scrambled not to drop it while Kili turned and stormed off down the hall. He unfolded the paper, confused when he saw Kili's messy hand writing.

_I know you might be mad at me. I wanted to tell you something, so I'm going to try writing a poem. Because I know you like them, for some reason. -__I don't know why I think they are boring__._

_Well here it is…_

_Fili you are my golden brother_

_Who I wish to smother. (__with love)_

_You fight very bravely _

_Which makes me- __ You keep me Safely_

_I can't do this, poems are difficult. You know Thorin told me of your feelings, and well me too. I mean I love you as well. Well that's it. _

Fili felt the smile on his face begin to burn at his cheeks as he reread the poor attempt of poetry in his hands. He quickly stuffed the letter into his pocket and ran his way down the hall slamming the door to their rooms open. Kili jumped from the chair he had been sulking in when Fili ran up to him halting just a foot away.

"Is it true?" His heart was still doing back flips in his chest but when Kili shyly nodded it felt like fireworks.

"I should've told you sooner…But I uh I just…" Kili's voice shook out the closer Fili stepped to him. Gently Fili placed his hands on each side of Kili's face his grin still spread wide.

"I love you too." He responded with a whisper. Kili smiled back, his own hands moving to cup Fili's face as he leaned down. The world was slowly spinning out of perspective as Fili joined their lips at last. It was gentle and sweet just as he had always imagined. Kili's lips were soft in contrast to the rough stubble on his chin smoothly responding to the press of his own lips. When Kili released a moan from the back of his throat the sweetness vanished and they were pressing closer together Kili's tongue plying Fili's mouth open to explore further. Fili let his hands slip down Kili's body to his hips pulling him in closer, resulting in another moan which was very soon to become an addiction.

Fili hadn't even checked to see if there had been anyone else in the room when he entered but when he heard the door closing behind them he did not care to look. He released Kili's mouth monetarily as they both rushed to remove the other's coat. Rushing back to each other for contact once more when the garments were removed and discarded on the floor. Kili had them walking backwards, to where Fili was unsure but when Kili stumbled back against a bed he leaned back, brows arching questioningly.

"Do you want to do this…there is no going back…" Kili laid back on the bed smiling as he teasingly unbuttoned the first few clasps on his shirt.

"_You have no idea._" Fili groaned climbing on top of the bed over Kili as he ripped his own shirt off, his thighs trapping Kilis hips between them. Kili leaned up monetarily as he removed his shirt kissing Fili briefly before he laid back down, his chest bare and contracting deeply with heavy breaths as Fili ran his hands down the exposed skin. He leaned down leaving a trail of soft kisses along the middle of Kili's stomach while he grinded down on the growing hardness under Kili's pants. Kili gasped at the contact as Fili watched his face twist with pleasure.

Smiling Fili lifted slightly from Kili's lap holding down his hips while pressing their lips together roughly. "Mmm- I could kiss you all night-" Fili breathed heavily onto Kili's now swollen lips. Kili responded by groaning, his hands fumbling with the ties at Fili's waist. Fili let his hands trail back over Kili's chest his fingers stopping to tease at Kili's excited nipples. Kili released a lengthy whimper his eyes scrunching closed as he bit down on his lip. Fili felt a shrill of excitement travel through him at the discovery and continued to tease at the flesh between his thumb and finger.

"I have other plans for the rest of the night-" Kili gripped tightly onto Fili's legs flipping them over before Fili could realize what was happening, his breath knocked from his lungs temporarily. His face heated up when Kili ripped his pants and under clothes from his body hungrily staring down at him. A shudder rippled his body when Kili licked at his lips, running the palms of his hands over the expanse of his chest and down to his legs spreading them open. Fili tossed his head back when Kili licked at his inner thigh nipping and sucking his way closer to his shaft.

"Oh Mahal Kili!" Without further pretense Kili slipped the head of Fili's dick into the warm circle of his mouth, his tongue lapping in slow movements against the underside. Fili's hands latched tightly to the sheets of the bed as he strained himself from thrusting in deeper. Fili could feel Kili's hum of satisfaction as his fingers trailed softly along his opening gently forcing his way inside. Fili's head began to spin when Kili's first finger was fully inside searching intently for his sweet spot. Kili began to work harder pushing Fili's dick deeper into his mouth while pushing a second finger inside of Fili's warmth.

Fili sucked in a breath of air as Kili pushed on the bundle of nerves, his hips bucking up suddenly. Kili only pressed further adding a third finger, unconsciously grinding his hips into the mattress beneath them for contact as he continued to suck Fili into his mouth.

"D-don't…make me wait any longer Kili." Fili rasped his fingers running through Kili's hair. Kili leisurely released Fili from his mouth spitting in his free hand watching as Fili continued to wither beneath him moving against his hand after he had removed his pants. Unable to merely watch any longer Kili removed his fingers placing them instead under Fili's knees lifting him nearly into his lap as he lined himself up. Fili reached for Kili's hair dragging him down to his lips for a passionate kiss as Kili gently slipped inside.

"Unnf Fili I love you so much-" Kili panted as he began to thrust into Fili with a steady rhythm. Releasing Fili's legs Kili placed his hand at the small of Fili's back and lifted him fully into his lap so they were chest to chest riding against one another. Fili kissed at Kili's sweat glistened neck his hands tangling in the strands of Kili's hair.

"I love you too." Kili moaned moving faster latching his teeth onto the spot between Fili's neck and shoulder.

"Touch yourself" He groaned, slightly muffled by Fili's skin. Fili obeyed the friction sending him into a spiral of pleasure. Untangling his hand from Kili's hair he gripped onto Kili's chin guiding him into a heated kiss as his orgasm washed over him, spending himself between their two bodies. Kili thrust shakily up several more times before he too followed Fili over the edge, spending himself deep within Fili.

They both stayed there for several moments their hands leaving lingering touches over the others skin memorizing the landscape of each others bodies. Placing feather light kisses at random spots, still breathing heavily as they finally detached from one another laying back on the bed. Fili quickly moved off the mattress grabbing a cloth to clean their mess before rejoining Kili on the bed. Kili nuzzled his way up along Fili's side his head gently resting on Fili's chest, arm draped lazily across his stomach as Fili brushed his fingers through Kili's hair.

"How long?" Kili's question whispered against the faint coating of hair on his chest. He considered his answer momentarily before he reached down to Kili's hand entwining their fingers together.

"It does not matter now, we have each other." Kili sighed cuddling closer to him.

"Okay." With the troubles of the day and the exploits of the night previous both fell into sleep smoothly not releasing their hold on the other throughout the entire night.

* * *

In the morning they both awoke smiling and taking advantage of the comforts of having bed while on a journey before they rejoined the others at breakfast. They were greeted mostly with smiles far to knowing for their liking. Fili was questioning the level of carpentry skills in their host and his thin walls when Thorin came up behind the pair clapping them both on the shoulders. He stopped them from walking into the dining room where the rest of the company had now gathered already starting on their breakfast.

"Kili I will now restate previous warnings for the both of you to hear." They turned around Fili looking confused as he watched Thorin cross his arms in front of him. "I approve of your relationship, just so long as it does not in any way hinder our journey…that includes robbing me of a good night's rest." Thorin could only hold his stern look for so long after Fili had made a face of pure terror imagining their Uncle hearing them together. "And also congratulations." Thorin laughed dragging the two of them into a tight hug before shoving them all into the dining room.

* * *

They had come so far, faced many opponents, fiercer and stronger. Surely they had not done so in vain. But that is how it felt, his brother, and now lover clutched tightly in his hold, hiding away with him in a room not far from their fate at the doors of a once great kingdom. It was weak and he would never admit it to it but he cried, everything had gone just right. No one had died, they had their kingdom back, the dragon was dead, and Kili was at last his, but now because their beloved Uncle was blinded by the searing light of gold they were to beat impossible odds.

Kili looked down to Fili swiping away the single tear with a press of his lips that trailed down to the corner of Fili's mouth before he spoke.

"All will be well, we have each other." Fili leaned in taking Kili's lips in one short kiss that spoke more than either could say before they grasped each other's hands walking out to the others for the battle.

And all was well.

* * *

**A/N: AHHH. DONE. Alright so I had planned for this to only be a break from my current multi chapter fic but things got outta hand lol. I hope you all enjoyed, and thanks for reading! **


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